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Chad Michael Mermaid Queue

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December is here, and along with the introduction of a crispness in the air comes the less exciting, but similarly chilling, presence of finals. Many students choose to retreat to coffee shops, the library or their dorms to prepare for a slew of exams. Others, however, opt out of studying in favor of cuddling up in bed, opening up Netflix and pushing away any thoughts of tests. The perfect way to forget about your obligations to the world is to turn on a classic early 2000’s chick flick, complete with the gratuitous use of flip phones, unapologetic wearing of tube tops and ever-present teen angst.

“Freaky Friday”: 5/5

Leave it to Jamie Lee Curtis, queen of probiotic yogurt, to make switching bodies with your mom seem slightly less terrifying than expected.

This film begins as many coming-of-age classics do: with a grossly misunderstood, angst-filled teen. Anna (Lindsay Lohan) and her mother Tess (Curtis) have a tortured relationship stemming from Tess’ lack of support for Anna’s band and Anna’s lack of support for her mother marrying that guy from NCIS.

The only thing that can save this mother-daughter duo is the power of love, Chad Michael Murray (he really peaked in 2003) belting out a truly inspiring version of “Hit Me Baby One More Time” and Chinese-restaurant-fortune-cookie magic. If you’re in the mood to watch Lindsay Lohan rock truly heinous highlights, see Jamie Lee Curtis ride a motorcycle and pretend you aren’t crying when Anna and Tess discover they’re really not so different after all, this is the movie for you.

“A Cinderella Story”: 4/5

This movie has everything: Chad Michael Murray (still peaking), a ton of salmon, online chatrooms, Chad Michael Murray, a costume party, a looming drought in California, and did I mention Chad Michael Murray?

A no-longer-modern take on a timeless classic, “A Cinderella Story” follows Sam (Hilary Duff), a high school student stuck living with her malicious stepmother Fiona (Jennifer Coolidge) and two stepsisters.

Sam is your everyday girl, working for Fiona’s restaurant by day and studying by night to fulfill her dream of going to Princeton. Things start to fire up when Sam begins talking to “Nomad,” another Princeton hopeful she meets in an online chatroom who not only attends the same high school as her, but is also the most popular boy at aforementioned school.

Will “Diner Girl” ever find love?

Will Chad Michael Murray ever be smart enough to recognize the girl behind her poorly-concealing mask?

Waiting for the answers to these questions is like waiting for rain in a drought.

“Aquamarine”: 4/5

In two words, this movie is a cinematographic masterpiece.

When a storm hits the coast of Florida, best friends Hailey and Clare (JoJo and Emma Roberts) are introduced to a mermaid named Aquamarine (Sara Paxton). Who says the only things in Florida are old people and oranges?

Together, the girls lead Aquamarine on her journey to prove to her father that love is real. Along the way, the audience is subjected to a constant onslaught of uncomfortable middle school flirting tips, fish puns and a startling amount of cargo shorts. Despite drinking sea water and stroking her face with cotton candy, Aquamarine’s beauty and charm are somehow able to keep her love interest, Raymond (Jake McDorman), around.

Bonus: halfway through the movie, there’s a three-way high-five.

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Student newspaper serving Tulane University, Uptown New Orleans
Chad Michael Mermaid Queue