Broadway Street

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. 

Life at Tulane University has rarely been a dull experience — but as of now, our campus has been changed forever. From 12 a.m. to 3 a.m. on Saturday, March 16, hundreds of Tulane students reported strange dreams containing sequences of kaleidoscopic imagery, followed by what some Tulanians describe as “a faint but persistent voice.” This peculiar event, now known as the Great Apparition, was only the beginning.

In the weeks following the Great Apparition, the source of the aforementioned voice was discovered in the unlikeliest of places: a frat party. According to eyewitness reports, the attendees were praying to an entity known as Methysius, also known as the “Herald of Hedon,” the “Duke of Debauchery” and oftentimes simply the “Patron God of Frat Parties.”

Current investigations suggest that Methysius is tied to Tulane Greek life, feeding on the hedonistic mana produced by frat parties in order to sustain itself. As such, Methysius is believed to have been created from the sheer abundance of frat parties on campus, manifesting from the psychic energy of Tulane students just before spring break.

It is currently believed that when Methysius awakened several weeks ago, the Great Apparition represented his formation and awakening, broadcasting himself across the mortal plane through the minds of Tulane students.

The discovery of Methysius has taken the Tulane community by storm, with many asking about the ramifications of a god-like force overseeing Greek life and feeding on its presence. From us here at the Tulane Fullabaloo, we encourage our readers to appease Methysius by engaging in revelry and merrymaking. Throw parties for the party god, and gather beer cans for the beer can throne!