Tulane’s Twitter presence has been enhanced in epic proportions by three anonymous sources that connect students to the most important aspects of our school’s culture. These are of course The Boot, President Mike Fitts and our beloved Cow Cat. It truly goes to show that not all heroes wear capes.

“Is the Boot Poppin?” (@isthebootpoppin) blesses Tulane students with an answer to perhaps the most discussed question of modern times: is The Boot, in fact, poppin? It does so with incredible integrity, using photographic skill to capture pristine images of the bar’s exterior from the vantage point of Greenbaum House, often accompanied by expert analysis to determine the final verdict. Truly fascinating.

“Please I am trying to sleep,” the unknown investigator pled, lamenting the lit-ness of The Boot last Wednesday.

On occasion, the account even posts pictures of the color wristband used at the bar that night to indicate an age above 21. May we all take a moment to honor and respect the efforts of this unknown force in aiding Tulane students on their quest to get drunk.

“Ya boy Cow Cat” (@tulanecowcat) finally allows students to interact online with the fluffy enigma that is the stray cat with the hide of a cow. Want to know what your favorite feline is up to today? Ever wondered what gender Cow Cat is? Answers are not forthcoming on this Twitter handle, although Cow Cat has a lot to say about his friend Panther Cat, the black cat that sits in front of Willow B and scowls at passersby.

That is not all on Cow Cat’s mind, however, as he has been known to speak out against the sick anti-kitten insensitivity of Tulane Dining Services’ menu choices.

“Soooo apparently there is catfish at bruff today…is that some kind of sick joke? #threatsfrombruff‬‬,” Cow Cat said.

This exposes the lack of respect for cat rights in our society. Thanks, Cow Cat, for opening our eyes to the prejudices American kittens face on a daily basis. #prayforcowcat #catlivesmatter

Meanwhile, a mysterious user has been impersonating our president, and it is hilarious.

He tackles tough issues. He is Tulane’s Supreme Leader. He can definitely hang. He is “Mike Fitts.”

(@darealmikefitts) shows our leader to be the personable president and party animal that we all would love him to be. Whether it’s announcing that Nalgenes of Franzia will be distributed due to a boil water advisory, or forming a crime-fighting posse to catch that pesky #LBCBandit, “Mike Fitts” is always looking to stir up some ruckus.

“People tryna bring back TEMS but I say laissay les Bon tomps ruler and if you want to get crunk I will take u 2 the hospital in my swagwagon,” Fitts said on this anonymous account.

Obviously, through Twitter, Fitts is an “original gangster,” and a huge advocate for the college drinking scene. Fitts would have you “check yourself before you wreck yourself,” however. He does not play when it comes to his paper.

“Nine/nine til the end of time, if you try to step, you’ll pay that fine,” Fitts warns students along with a picture regarding the stipulations of his reserved parking space.

Stay up to date with the latest tomfoolery from President Fitts, Cowcat and The Boot on these fantastic twitter handles.