Whether you’re just visiting as an incoming freshman, or a senior on your way out, the Tulane University Bookstore located in the Lavin-Bernick Center for University Life has been there for you in one way or another. It’s the place you bought your first Tulane shirt, or where you bought grandma that hat you know she’ll never wear. It’s the place where you search endlessly for a textbook that sold out on the first day of classes, forcing you to buy it on Amazon. But beyond the rows of classic “Tulane Mom” coffee mugs and yarmulkes embroidered with the angry wave logo are products every Tulane student must have (or at least Tulane believes you need). Here are the top five most essential purchases in the Tulane bookstore:

Tulane engraved candle and glass candle holder:

Are the woes of a semester drawing to a close distressing you? Purchase this for all your aromatherapy needs while repping the Harvard of the South anytime and anywhere. Those living in residence halls should take heed that burning candles is strictly prohibited, but elegant, aggressively branded candleware for is decidedly not.

16-inch Tulane nutcracker:

It may be April, but it’s Christmas for Tulane everytime a student purchases this item. Don’t worry, only eight more months until winter break! If this $60 nutcracker isn’t enough to satisfy your festive needs, buy the bundle and get your Santa hat and tree ornaments, too.

Sterling silver Swiss watch

For the low price of $295, you can forget about that textbook your professor said was absolutely necessary and slap this puppy on your wrist! Featuring an Italian leather strap engraved with the Tulane logo, you can interview for that unpaid internship in style, and flex your inner angry wave. Though you may not have been able to pass that class, you’ll never have to worry about being late.

Paper bag:

Want to stand out from The New Yorker tote crowd? This product is an absolute steal — and certainly unique to Tulane. Found directly next to the branded golf balls hang these green paper bags with the Tulane logo. Priced at six dollars, you can carry all of your small belongings for at least a week before the bag breaks and you are right back in the bookstore. The real thrill of the experience, however, is getting charged $0.15 to have your paper bag put in a plastic shopping bag, a charge you’ll resent but begrudgingly accept as the toll for knowingly killing the environment.

Tulane dog football jersey:

Last, but most definitely not least, comes the Tulane football jersey for your dog. Let your dog have a helluva hullabaloo with its own jersey! Showing spirit in style, your dog can bark on the Green Wave at every home game. Sure, your pet won’t know what its for and wrangling the jersey on might be an impossible battle, but, what’s a dog’s comfort when there are Instagram likes to be had?

If you have made it this far and are wondering why there are no books on the bookstore’s list of must-haves, you’re not crazy. Why would Tulane worry about securing enough mandatory textbooks for its students in its bookstore when it can have an endless surplus of holiday sweaters? Does it make sense to have triple the floor space of the book section for Tulane apparel and useless tchotchkes? It’s great that the bookstore offers fun buys for prospective students and visiting alumni, but catering to students needs, namely when it comes to education, is essential.