Dear 328-71,

Let’s stop playing this game, shall we? I was interested in you at first, but it’s become so constant now. I thought we had a nice thing going, a low-commitment kinda thing, but it seems one of us has gotten too attached. One of us has gotten too needy.

I think we both know who that is.

Now let’s be reasonable. Two texts a day? That’s just too much. I have other commitments, other 3-2 numbers I’m seeing, and when you text the second time each day, I get my hopes up for someone else. At first, you were texting me from all those different numbers, crowding up my inbox. Did you think I didn’t know it was you? I’m sorry I was unresponsive, but I had just gotten back to school and didn’t feel I had the time for you. My test came back negative after all.

I know all you ask for is a minute of my time, but now you’re asking for it twice?! This just isn’t very considerate of my time.

I know you may not realize. I know you also have roughly 12,151 others you have to message, but maybe lighten up your load? One message, one reply. Probably not on weekends and most of the time I’ll still forget, but I’ll try! I promise!

But I’m warning you. If your neediness does not diminish, I might have to end this. There’s a powerful tool and it’s called “block number.” Don’t make me do this. I don’t want this relationship to end.

Consider this my plea to you. I want this to work for us both, I really do. I think we all do, but this needs to stop. You’re simply asking too much. Yes, of course I’ve been to a Tulane building in the last 48 hours, that’s obvious as you’ve made it very clear we must attend our in-person classes. No, I do not have any symptoms, and what happens if I say I do? Will you stop texting me then? Will you be scared of me? Will you leave me alone? What will it take?

I do admit, that one week you went away, I missed you. SIKE. I didn’t even notice you were gone until you came back. Let me go.

With every day that passes in which you send me your message, once at 8:32 a.m., once at 3:02 p.m., these feelings grow stronger, my finger moves closer to the block button. I hear the message in my dreams, “Please click the link below to complete your COVID-19 self-check.” In the dream, I never click the link.

Just stop texting twice a day. I’m over you.

Sincerely,

An Annoyed Student