Most of us have come to the understanding that one’s social media presence is not necessarily a reflection of their life, but highlights of their best moments. 

On an interpersonal level, a person’s Instagram may not reflect on a fight they had with their best friend or significant other, or the rocky relationship they might have with a family member. However, it is easy for us to envy people and relationships we see online, wanting to emulate their happiness.

Still, we look at the snippets of relationships online as inspiration for our own. And some of us may even engage in sharing the highlights of our relationships, even if we don’t show every aspect. 

To understand this phenomenon, we can look at the anecdotes of 20 different students at Tulane University in an independently conducted survey. Seventy-five percent of respondents indicated that they were either in a relationship or casually dating, while the other 25% said that they were single. 

Fifty-five percent of those dating or in relationships stated that they were somewhere in between “moderately” private about their relationships, meaning that they only occasionally post about it, and “moderately” public, meaning that they may have a few posts about their relationship. 

When selecting statements about how they felt about seeing other relationships online, 65% of respondents felt “indifferent to seeing other relationships online” and said they understand their interpersonal relationship is unique, different from others that are shared through social media. Sixty percent agreed with the statement that social media is something that is “meant to be taken lightly and that people will only show off their best moments.”

The survey respondents in relationships are mostly aware that social media does not represent the full picture of a romantic relationship; however, a lot have made the conscious decision to post about their relationship. Why is this the case?

An article from Psychology Today suggests that the reason some couples may feel the need to share about their relationship is the desire to connect with one’s partner by displaying how much they care about them or love them. 

Posting your significant other may also suggest to your expanded social networks that you are happily dating somebody and that it is a “highlight” of your life.

There are many ways to post about your relationship. Some couples may “soft launch,” which is sharing photos that discreetly show that you are with another person. This offers a way to hint at the fact that you are in a relationship while being a little more private by not exposing the name of the other person or what they may look like. 

On the other end of the spectrum, there is the “hard launch,” or when you finally decide to post a picture with your significant other tagged in it. 

There are many perfect opportunities to debut your relationship or to continue to post about it: anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day or other miscellaneous celebration days such as National Boyfriend Day or National Girlfriend Day. These hard launch posts often signify the best moments of a romantic relationship or markers of special occasions that a couple wants to share with their “world.”

There is no wrong or right way to do a romantic relationship, and the reality is that most people in relationships are aware that social media may not be the most accurate portrayal. Every romantic relationship has its ups and downs, and it is understandably hard to see other couples happy while you are at a low point. 

What we see on social media does not fully encapsulate the human experience, and while many are aware of this truth, sometimes we have to be reminded. 

Sharing your relationship is a decision for you and your partner to make, and it is important to acknowledge that publicizing your relationship does not make it “perfect,” and every interpersonal relationship portrayed online is much more complex than a simple anniversary post.