Tulane Zodiacs: Arcade’s guide to star sign stereotypes

No one asked for it, and we listened. The Arcade presents: the stereotypical Tulane student of each star sign. Keep in mind that stereotypes, by definition, are not representative of every individual of a group: not every Scorpio is as fierce as the Scorp stereotype, and some Capricorns do, in fact, leave the library.


Nov. 22-Dec. 21: Has probably attended one, several or every single Department of Campus Recreation Outdoor Adventures trip since they first arrived at Tulane with Lokai bracelets lining their arms. Flighty and adventurous, the Sag has been known to send that 2:42 a.m. text, “hey, u up?”


Dec. 22-Jan. 19: Can be found “on a date with Howie T” any hour of the day or night. The Cap is probably in a pre-professional fraternity, Undergraduate Student Government or wants to be.


 Jan. 20-Feb. 18: These humanitarians are actively involved in some visionary pursuit, be it a political student organization, Habitat for Humanity or campaigning to banish all forms of melon from Bruff Commons.


Feb. 19-Mar. 20: Most definitely owns a journal. This most gentle sign of the zodiac loves sunsets at the Fly and has revisited their freshman dorm at least once just for the nostalgia of it all.


 Mar. 21-April 19: Won their intramural soccer championship freshman year through sheer intimidation and “if looks could kill” tactics. The Aries then proceeded to party hardy at the private F & M Patio Bar and Grill bash granted to the winning team.


April 20-May 20: Works upwards of 12 hours at their on campus job and is the number one fan of not one, but all of Tulane’s a capella groups, thanks to their musical inclination.


 May 21-June 20: Endangers countless lives on McAlister Drive because they can’t decide if they should swerve left or right around a pedestrian. The Gemini Tulanian signed up for roughly 47 clubs on OrgSync during orientation.


June 21-July 22: Would surf in the bayou, if possible, due to their affinity for all things aquatic. The Arcade heard the Cancer allegedly shed a few tears at Crawfest in empathy for the crustacean souls who gave their lives for the enjoyment of drunk Tulane students.


July 23-Aug. 22: Prime suspects for seeking elevated dancing surfaces during Mardi Gras, as well as causing the irreparable damage to U-Hauls incurred during this time. Leos study at PJ’s Coffee of New Orleans for prime visibility to potential suitors and other people who will give them two seconds of attention.


Aug. 23-Sept. 22: Constantly shook when things don’t go according to plan (see Canceled SI Session and Bruff Is Out of Lucky Charms).


Sept. 23-Oct. 22: Librans are that person who sits in Bruff for hours. Librans further expand their extensive friendship circles by working as a Desk Services Coordinator in a freshman dorm and genuinely greeting every single person that walks in.


Oct. 23-Nov. 21: Captions their photos from Fiji Islander “#fierce.” Scorps work hard, play hard and are a little bit scary for no reason at all.

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