FULLABALOO: Angry Wave sobers up after losing seasons, becomes Mildly Distressed Wave

Tulane students and faculty were shocked at the newly revived Angry Wave logo, the “Mildly Distressed Wave.”

Like a mid-court shot thrown by a basketball fan desperate for prize money, rumors about the Mildly Distressed Wave’s appearance came up short. It has been confirmed the Mildly Distressed Wave appeared in the wake of Tulane Athletics’ constant struggle.

“Football went like, 4-8 this year, right?” a Tulane fan pointed out, lounging out on the quad after shotgunning a Miller High Life. “Are we really surprised?”

Eyewitnesses report the new mascot looks almost identical to its angrier yet clearly more stable counterpart, except for a few changes. Differences include the sunken eyes, the look of hopelessness behind its strained frown and the constant possession of alcohol stolen from unsuspecting freshmen on Broadway Street.

Athletic Director Troy Dannen and wife Amy, tearfully dabbing their eyes, said they value the safety of the Mildly Distressed Wave.

“We have addressed this problem in the best way that we can,” Dannen said through the sniffles. “We are planning on holding an intervention for the Mildly Distressed Wave to tell it that we’re here for it. That this is a safe space.”