Originally, this article was going to be a simple spring trend report. Nothing controversial. But before anything, I am, at my core, a hater. Unfortunately, in my research for this article, I found a lot to hate. So let’s talk spring 2022 trends and why I think they are downright disgusting. 

Of course, these opinions are my own and not an attack on anyone’s aesthetic sensibilities or character. Please don’t let the opinions of a writer who regularly wears the same jeans multiple days in a row and has done the sniff test on her clothes in the last week stop you from enjoying things. 

Neon 

Highlighters are a great tool. I used them to annotate my readings to make important points easier to find later. That being said, I do not find fashion inspiration from them. 

By design, highlighter colors are an eyesore, and so I don’t wear them. It seems, however, the likes of Dua Lipa, Prada and Zara’s latest collection do not agree with me. 

Neon reminds me a lot of those boys in middle school who were convinced they were headed for the NBA and were way too into dodgeball. Certainly not a vibe I want to emulate, and not one I care to see trending. I will be sticking to blue, green and neutral colors just like I have every other season. 

Low rise  

This isn’t specific to spring 2022 — low rise has been creeping back into our jeans and skirts for months. It is my moral obligation to go on record and add my voice to the millions who object to this trend. They harken back to a much more exclusive era of fashion those before us do not remember fondly. I’m not usually one to advocate for listening to millennials, but I think they have a point here. 

Unless we can bring back this trend with the understanding that all bodies are good bodies worthy of love, I think it’s best we leave it behind along with over-plucked eyebrows and dresses over jeans. 

Tube tops

My objections here are less aesthetic and more practical. I remember a few years ago when more cropped, frilly, smocked tube tops were big — at least in my area — and all I remember from that time period was a lot of fidgeting and complaining about strapless bras. 

I’m sure they’re cute, and maybe with the rise of corset tops we will find a way to make them more supportive, but I don’t think this is a trend I will participate in. 

Feathers

Maybe I’m biased because I’ve never been a huge fan of birds, but this trend really is not my cup of tea. All I can think of is Big Bird and big costume feather boas. 

It also comes with a lot of questions regarding upkeep. How do you wash it if Brad from Sigma Apple Pie spills something on you? When — and it’s when — the feathers fall out, do they leave a gross bald patch? What are the odds someone pets your feathery clothing when you’re wearing it out? All in all, it’s a no from me. 

In the fashion world’s defense, not every trend from this season is the worst thing to happen to clothing. Metallic clothing is making a comeback and could be a statement addition to your going-out wardrobe. Ballerina-inspired fashion is a cute take on athleisure, and colorful women’s suiting is objectively cool. And of course, florals. They’re groundbreaking. 

But, at the end of the day, fashion is about expressing yourself and having fun. Trends are by nature temporary and should not be the only thing that dictates your personal style.