This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

In a new exhibit in the A. B. Freeman Business School, students have put the coloring pages they did for homework to good use. Proudly displayed in the Marshall Family Commons are hundreds of originally designed non-fungible tokens. 

NFTs are defined as a digital piece of media that can be bought and sold as part of the Ethereum — a cryptocurrency like bitcoin, dogecoin, etc. — blockchain. Purchasing a work is similar to buying an original Van Gogh at auction; sure, the creator still has the rights to it, and anyone can buy a print, but only one person can own the original. So you too can be the sole owner of the digital version of artwork created by Tulane University B-schoolers. It’s a very prestigious honor.  

The NFTs themselves cover a wide variety of subject matter. My personal favorite work was a GIF created by student Inie Daraise featuring her slow consumption of a Commons meal, then quickly running to the nearest restroom. I think it really speaks to a powerful aspect of the Tulane experience that often goes unnoticed. I would have purchased it myself, but it had already been purchased by alumni Mormany Thansents (TU ‘69) at a staggering $15,000. 

Student Brad Chadlington II said regarding his piece, “Yeah uh, it took a lot of work I guess. This experience was, like, super valuable. I’m not an artsy guy, but this drawing of a fish doing whippets really means a lot to me. It feels good knowing that so many people could find the same value in it that I do.” 

The guy standing next to him, without me asking, said “You know, the future really is in cryptocurrency, and I’m proud Tulane was bold enough to let us enter into that world as part of our learning.” 

If you’re concerned about where your money is going, don’t worry — it isn’t the business school’s already massive endowment. It will be split two ways: half of the money made will go directly to Ligma Chive’s Derby Days fundraising event. The other half will go into a legal fund to support victims of reverse racism in this changing professional world. So come out and support the NFT gallery! Not only to support the students and their hard work but these two incredible causes as well.