The Tulane Hullabaloo

#fittcheck

FULLABALOO | Mike Fitts: Man, myth, legend

Anita Drynk, Peaked In College April 14, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.   At 5:30 a.m. every morning, the “Cocomelon” theme song plays at...

In the words of Confucious, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.

FULLABALOO | Gender segregating Tulane would protect male relevance

Anita Drynk, Peaked In College April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. In 1972, Tulane University made the worst decision ever, apart from a few...

FULLABALOO | Romanticize Tulanes wrongs

FULLABALOO | Romanticize Tulane’s wrongs

Imma Beech, Clearly not in therapy April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Tulane does a lot of things right. Boasting a beautiful 110-acre urban campus,...

Leaving the lame football program behind, Tulane is set to join a Division I duck, duck, goose league.

FULLABALOO | Division I duck, duck, goose takes Tulane by storm

Anita Drynk, Peaked In College April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. After an impressively embarrassing Green Wave Football season, Tulane University...

FULLABALOO | In Earshot: Tulane secret faculty band?

FULLABALOO | In Earshot: Tulane secret faculty band?

Miss Thing 2, None of Your Biznass April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. I thought I imagined it at first. There was no way this band playing in the...

FULLABALOO | Hullabloo ‘writers’ are up to something

FULLABALOO | Hullabloo ‘writers’ are up to something

Fibi H, Not Associated With This Publication April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. The Tulane Hullabloo boasts the catchphrase, “The eyes and ears of the...

FULLABALOO | Disney buys nation of Mexico for ‘Coco 2: Güey of the Dead’

FULLABALOO | Disney buys nation of Mexico for ‘Coco 2: Güey of the Dead’

Doctor Karma, Journalist who is not being held captive at all April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Bob Chapek, CEO of The Walt Disney Co, announced on April 5 that the media...

The pothole laden streets of the Crescent City will present a tall task to F1 racers.

FULLABALOO | Formula One announces New Orleans Grand Prix

Mr. Brightside, Sportsball Editor April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Formula One has announced the creation of the New Orleans Grand Prix. The...

FULLABALOO | Tulane dining announces return of Panera to LBC

FULLABALOO | Tulane dining announces return of Panera to LBC

Mr. Brightside, Sportsball Editor April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Tulane University Dining Services has announced a slew of changes for the...

Due to the lack of anyone who even knows what Zatarain’s is, TUPD suspects the LBC restaurant of money laundering.

FULLABALOO | TUPD investigating Zatarain’s for suspected money laundering charges

Chris Kringle, Future IRS Auditor April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Tulane University Police Department opened an investigation into Zatarain’s...

For all the girlypops wondering what it takes to be popular at Tulane, look no further.

FULLABALOO | How to become Tulane ‘That Girl’

Miss Thing 1 and Miss Thing 2, Contributing Writers April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.   Have you ever thought to yourself, “Wow. It’s impossible to...

FULLABALOO | Tulane to ban administrators from sense of style, dry cleaning, ironing clothes

FULLABALOO | Tulane to ban administrators from sense of style, dry cleaning, ironing clothes

Brohan Got(nothing)onme, Fake News Slinger April 13, 2022

This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Tulane University will ban all mid-level and senior administrators from dry...

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