This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. 

As the spring semester comes to an end, so does Tulane University’s dining partnership with Sodexo. Tulane announced Monday that Erewhon Market, a Los Angeles-based upscale supermarket, will take their place. 

Erewhon has grown a cult following in the Los Angeles area. Known for its pricey smoothies, sushi sandwiches and overall sense of superiority, the grocery chain has become a national sensation. 

As a high percentage of Tulane students are from California, many have expressed excitement at the new partnership. 

“In my experience, some of the dining hall workers can be lowkey rude sometimes,” freshman Chad Michaels said. “But every Erewhon worker I’ve met has been super chill, so I am hyped for the new partnership.” 

Other students look forward to the food Erewhon will provide. The Lavin-Bernick Center food court will now offer rice bowls starting at $30, sandwiches starting at $35 and smoothies starting at $22. 

“I am just so excited to be able to get Hailey Bieber’s Strawberry Glaze Skin Smoothie right here, like at Tulane,” sophomore Carly Greer said. “Now my parents won’t have to overnight me smoothies anymore.”

In addition to carrying Erewhon’s 24 signature smoothies, the Malkin Sacks Commons will be stocked with food from the hot bar, sushi section and produce. 

“We are excited to offer students more healthy and locally sourced options,” President Mike Fitts said. “Locally sourced from California, I mean.”

Despite a majority of positive feedback from Californian students, the decision to partner with Erewhon has sparked controversy across campus. Many feel as though the move was elitist and out of touch with the rest of the student body. 

“I understand the appeal of viral smoothies, but I am a college student; I can’t afford to spend $22 a day on my smoothies, even if they promise to glaze my skin,” junior Hannah Burns said. 

In response to the backlash, Tulane is encouraging students to use their WaveBucks so their purchases feel like they are free. 

“I just use my parents’ credit card at the food court anyway,” Greer said. “I didn’t even know they listed the prices there. Do all restaurants do that?” 

The decision to switch dining vendors to Erewon came shortly after Tulane announced it would be switching to Aramark Collegiate Hospitality. 

“We like to keep students on their toes,” Fitts said. “As soon as we sense that students or staff are getting used to a vendor, we like to change it. We did the same thing with Panera.” 

Whether the partnership will be able to fit the needs of the diverse student body is yet to be seen, but it will certainly continue to make waves on the Tulane campus.