Airing of grievances: voter apathy

Dear Apathetic Youth,

At this point, less than a week out from election day, I know you’ve heard it all before: you need to vote! Voting will help people other than yourself! Voting can change the world! Voting is a key aspect of our nation’s democracy that you have an obligation to participate in as a politically-conscious citizen! 

And, at this point, less than a week out from election day, I know you probably don’t care. To be fair, who would? We are but simple Millennials: we need to focus on ourselves, okay? Kylie Jenner said this is the year of realizing stuff, and I think we can all agree that means we need to realize which color from her lip kit would look best on us.

But guys, there is one thing to consider — you’re making us look bad. 

Millenials, as a generation, pride ourselves on our remarkable ability to be #woke. We are the hip, liberal, socially-aware generation. We made that red equal sign our profile pictures a few years back, and we all shared the heck out of that “A Feminist Response to ‘I am Not a Feminist, and That Is Okay'” article.

This year, Millenials make up roughly 31 percent of the voting electorate, according to the Pew Research Center. So, if none of us vote, someone might actually notice. 

I know what you’re thinking, and don’t get me wrong, I love attention just as much as you do … but there is such a thing as being seen in a bad light. (Think: the lighting in Kylie’s Instagrams that get sub-2 million likes.) 

And if you think all those older, lame generations that don’t have trendy names aren’t going to judge us if we don’t get out there and vote, you should maybe read one or two of the articles out there that they wrote about how much we suck.

So, whatever. Ignore the fact that this is a historical election featuring the first-ever female presidential candidate for a major political party. Gloss over the fact that the president you have the power to elect could select up to five Supreme Court justices who will weigh in on groundbreaking cases. Shrug at the mere thought that political pundits everywhere say this is an election for the ages, and that there is a chance a tyrannical Cheetos-man with pretty little doll hands could be the commander-in-chief of the United States Army.


Think of how many likes you could rack up on an Instagram featuring one of those cute “I voted!” stickers.


Only Thinking of You

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