This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

“I wish I could say it started because of my natural drive and entrepreneurial instincts, but it was honestly just the whippit addiction,” freshman David Wordlebergofsky said when asked about his new app, EntreprenUber. 

The app’s mission, “to create a safe space for those who are unemployed but still need that extra bit of cash because, hey, we’re college students,” came to Wordlebergofsky after he offered to call the Uber home from the annual Zeta Beta Tau slumber party. 

“There were a lot of us, and I’ve always been a leader, so I offered up my mom’s card. No one knew, though, so I just told them to Venmo me,” Wordlebergofsky said. “That was the moment I knew I had to capitalize on it. I had to share my trick.”

The only problem? Permanent account names. Wordlebergofsky said his friends were confused when the Uber driver asked to confirm for “Rebecca,” his mother’s name.

With EntreprenUber, users can change account names, eliminating awkward interactions and securing Venmo payments. 

Wordlebergofsky said that students who are currently employed set unreasonable expectations. “The concept of a job is simply discriminatory to people who are super involved with Greek life and stuff,” Wordlebergofsky said. “Your bank account shouldn’t suffer because you don’t work.” 

In just two months, Wordlebergofsky said he decided to go public with his app and pitch it on Shark Tank.

“The frat boy demographic fuels 35% of New Orleans’ economy. I called my friend in SAE at UMiami, and he said they experienced the same thing there. That’s when I knew this was bigger than Tulane, so I had my dad text Mark Cuban.” 

Wordlebergofsky said they filmed the episode in February and that Cuban said EntreprenUber was “probably one of the worst ideas [he’s] ever heard.”

“I got up there, and I just froze,” Wordlebergofksy said. “I was mostly gonna wing it, you know, B-School style, but I don’t know what happened. I was so amped to share the idea, but I think Mark just couldn’t look past my initial slip up.”

EntreprenUber is now available for $4.99 on the App Store.

“If I secured my ask of a $2.3 million investment, I could have marketed it for $3.99 which would definitely attract more users,” Wordlebergofsky said. 

As of April 2023, EntreprenUber has four active users. 

“It’s a slow start, but we’ll get there,” Wordleberofsky said. “The only thing I’m concerned about is that I’m set for the next month with whippits. Roll Wave, man.”