My 19th birthday was an amazing one; I spent it abroad with all my closest Tulane friends, but unfortunately, I kept getting texts along the lines of, “Are you and your boyfriend still together? I saw he didn’t post you on your birthday.”
I got at least five texts of this nature. This temporarily upset me, and I almost forgot the handwritten note, flowers and lengthy text I had received from him that day. Despite this, The Birthday Post still mattered.
The Birthday Post: A post that your friends upload to their Instagram, proving their relationship with you while announcing your special day.
These posts regularly include phrases like, “Happy birthday to my best friend,” “Can’t wait to celebrate,” “I love you so much” or maybe even “I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.” The intentions of these posts are unclear, yet I still partake in posting them regularly. I place said phrases strategically on the photos of me and the birthday individual and upload them to my story.
Have birthday posts and public displays of appreciation on social media become a form of social currency? It seems they have. “I feel like it’s offensive if I don’t post for my friends’ birthdays,” sophomore and fellow birthday poster Jemma Harvey said, “I feel like I need to reciprocate it. I often forget though, and then I feel like an asshole.”
Unfortunately, in this day and age, a long, personal, meaningful text explaining how much your friend means to you is not enough on their special day. These posts have become a social transaction; you post for each other’s birthdays to prove your status as close friends.
Another common form of these social-currency behaviors is the art of serial, meaningless commenting. When asked if she felt pressure to attain a respectable number of comments on a post, sophomore and fellow serial commenter Noa Granoff said, “Totally, sometimes I take it personally if my friend doesn’t. The social standard is that you must comment on your friend’s posts.”
The struggle to come up with unique or creative phrases to comment on friends’ posts is felt by many. If you scroll through any Tulane girls’ comment section, it will most likely be filled with repetition. “Love,” “Gorgeous girl,” “Stunning,” “BFF.” Bonus points if a boy comments, “Sick [insert fire emoji here].”
I’m not sure why we haven’t yet as a generation realized that this behavior is strange. If a friend showed me a carousel of photos in real life, it would be weird of me to recite a bunch of words consecutively that mean the same thing. For some reason, Instagram users, like me, feel pressure to reach a certain amount of likes and comments, as well as receive an annual birthday post. We feel socially accepted and reassured when we receive a string of comments, boosting our numbers.
We feel praised and solidified in our friendships when we receive a dedicated post on our birthdays. Social media has become a form of social currency. Social media users should begin to find value in handwritten notes, a thoughtful gift or a meaningful compliment. These interactions and gestures are more human, connect us better and strengthen our relationships more than any post or comment could.