This article is entirely satire. All information and interviews below are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. 

Erika Kirk, widow of late right-wing political activist Charlie Kirk and Turning Point USA chairwoman and CEO, was spotted macking on Vice President JD Vance at The Boot following a TPUSA tour stop at Tulane University. 

Amidst TPUSA’s extensive spring college tour across the country, Kirk and Vance added a last-minute stop in the Big Easy. 

The organization set up on McAlister Drive, kicking the Queer Student Alliance out of their space through a combination of verbal harassment and bribery. 

“I was blown away by the sheer whiteness of Tulane’s population. And by how rich everyone was. It was awesome. These are my kind of people,” Vance said. 

After Erika Kirk and Vance’s Tulane visit, which garnered a meager audience of Sigma Alpha Epsilon pledges and a few Tri Delta members, the pair attended an SAE champagne and shackles date party that evening. 

According to many sources, the duo remained professional, accepting only red beads on Bourbon Street and maintaining a respectable distance despite the shackles. 

However, at The Boot post-game, multiple students report witnessing Vance and Erika Kirk sharing a passionate kiss just left of the DJ booth at approximately 3:41 AM. 

“I saw them walk in a few minutes earlier, and I wanted to bring them a round of boot bombs before sending them off. Then I looked up, and they were really going at it. I wish Erika hadn’t seen me, I think she almost turned me to stone. I’ve never seen such angry, piercing blue eyes before,” an anonymous freshman said. 

Despite multiple reports, Erika Kirk and Vance denied the allegations. Both refused to make a comment to the Fullabaloo about the alleged incident.