Airing of Grievances: Dog Days

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Emilie Eliopoulos

Dear TUSTEP dog sitters, walkers and owners,

Quick question – I promise this will only take a moment of your time. It’s about something very personal that’s been bothering me for a while now, and I guess I’m just hoping you can help me out a bit by clarifying something. No, don’t worry, I’m not offended or salty or displeased with you in any way. In fact, my salinity levels are optimal. I have just a quick, honest question.

Where is the chill?

I’m a fan of yours, don’t get me wrong. I respect what you’re doing, and firmly believe training and educating doggos to help others is a noble pursuit. One that should be celebrated. In fact, celebrated and rewarded through love and attention to these sweet, sweet dogs.

When I’m leaving Spanish after finding out I got utterly tenderized on my last oral exam and see the literal and metaphysical incarnation of Marley from “Marley and Me” galloping at lightspeed across Newcomb Quad, you know exactly what my first instinct is going to be. You can bet I’m gonna run across that quad in slo-mo, tripping over myself in primordial exaltation while “In the Arms of an Angel” plays in the background. So I hope you understand what it does to me when you turn toward me, give me that cheeky side-eye, and proceed to put that damn vest on that poor pup.

Why won’t you let me love him? Why won’t you let him love me? What do you have against our OTP? I haven’t related this hard to Owen Wilson since that time I broke my nose.

TUSTEP folks, don’t be sadists. People love dogs, and dogs love people. They’re humankind’s best friends after all, aren’t they? If someone looks like they just failed a test, experienced a bad breakup, walked all the way to Gibson just to realize class got canceled or for that matter are just having an all-around crummy day, please take a moment to make their day. For you it’s just a single moment out of your way, a slightly inconvenient, isolated instance of magnanimity. For someone else, it’s the high point of their day.

I know it can be a pain to have to take a vest like that on and off a hyperactive dog repeatedly, but just think of the difference you can make. These dogs are being trained to make a difference after all, so why not give them a chance to practice those skills ahead of time?

Sincerely,

Puppy Love