FULLABALOO: RA writes resident up for juuling, student ‘confused’

Exhaling his last euphoric cloud of water vapor, Monroe resident Brad Werner watched in dismay as his $34.99 investment was swiftly confiscated by his Resident Advisor.

The Tulane resident contract states that students are not allowed to consume tobacco in any form while in the dorms. Initially regretting leaving his door wide open, Werner was quick to dismiss his fault and instead voice his frustration at the disciplinary actions he faces.

“The no tobacco rule is completely outdated,” freshman and undeclared business major Werner said. “It’s not like I was smoking cigarettes or something,” 

Many students on campus have stated that they are irritated by the “no tobacco rule.” Students understand that the tobacco rule was created for the health and safety of Tulane campus members; however, according to @barstoolsports, the official Juul representative, “hitting the Juul” is healthier than a cigarette.

“Juuls just don’t have the same health concerns as smoking cigarettes do,” Sharp resident Tiffany May said. “Nicotine is fine and we know what’s in the pods that we’re smoking, unlike cigarettes.”

When asked what exactly is in the pod, May said nicotine (which is 5% of the 0.7ml of fluid). She was unable to identity the rest of the liquid but said it was probably Moroccan oil, which Tiffany said is an incredible oil and works great in hair.

Eventually Brad purchased another Juul but has since flushed it down the toilet due to the recent health concerns of Juuls causing lung cancer. Working with fellow Monroe hall resident Chad Turner, the students have drafted a petition to the Resident Hall Association, petitioning the Resident Hall Association to include a section against Juuling in the resident contract.

“You see, rules these days just don’t seem to follow the times,” Werner said. “Chad and I hope to see preventative steps taken by the administration to encourage the health and safety of future students,” Brad, the president of newly formed Students Against Juuling club which meets every Monday at the tables adjacent to The Boot, said.

Update: Brad’s snapchat group chat deemed Juul safe again, so Brad and Chad are back to Juuling. ‘Students Against Juuling’ was renamed to ‘Students For Juuling,’ and they encourage you to sign their petition which allows students to Juul in classrooms, dorms and The Boot.

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