Airing of Grievances: Breaking up with Dean Woodley
September 30, 2020
Dear Erica,
Hey, girl! So great to hear from you yet again.
Things sure have been crazy this semester. All these new rules and guidelines can make things pretty confusing, so this email is primarily to say “Thank you!” for the semi-daily messages you’ve been cramming into my inbox. Not sure how I would stay sane without my phone constantly buzzing out yet another of your Outlook notifications!
As much as I absolutely love to be berated and condescended to on a daily basis, I actually write you today with a heavy heart and a rather unfortunate request: I would like to withdraw my name from your subscribers list.
I know that this decision might seem out of left field! Please know, it is the combination of many factors, not the least of which are: eye fatigue, phone-buzz numbness, inability to read your name without passing out, etc.
However, I have taken the liberty of putting together a small “greatest hits” showcase of my favorite memories that we’ve shared throughout the past months. Without further ado, they are as follows:
1. “You have likely seen colleges across the country forced to reverse their opening decisions. In most cases, this can be tracked directly to an off-campus student party/super-spreader event.” — Fall 2020 Updates & Reminders, 08/21/20
Yes, colleges across the country, who have jeopardized entire cities by reopening their doors to ensure their tuition money was paid in full, could own up to that and make the decision to close for the good of their communities. But the optics of that are horrible! It would mean an admission of misjudgment! You very effectively took control of that narrative and reversed the blame from administration to students here. An Oscar-worthy performance.
2. “There is a lot of skepticism and anxiety throughout our campus community about our students’ ability to make decisions focused on the well-being of our community … We are putting a lot of faith in you because we know that you can do this. Please continue to hold yourselves — and each other — accountable.” — Preparing for Fall 2020, 08/14/20
Who else could simultaneously trash-talk and pretend to uplift an entire student body? Were you born between May 21 and June 20? This is some grade-A Gemini behavior! Another victorious moment in the ongoing battle to relieve administration of all agency. I know for a fact this line had students quaking with fear!
3. “People are watching.” — Fall 2020 Updates & Reminders, 08/21/20
I have to say, the social shame tactic is a bold choice for an email sent to the entire student body. Scare us into submission! Who are these spies and what information about me have you given them? Regardless, I’m definitely wearing my mask! Loved this energy.
4. Guest Star Dean Lee Skinner: “Your instructors are expecting to see you in person in their classes and can mark you absent if you don’t show up in person without a documented reason. Your fellow students are also looking forward to seeing you and to engaging with you in the classroom.” — NTC Class Attendance Policy, 08/27/20
I love the urgency here. Although some have criticized this hot take from Skinner as “wildly out-of-touch” and symptomatic of “delusions of grandeur,” I would like to commend her for this line. As a student absolutely desperate to see my peers physically in class, I think this accurately captures the Christmas Eve-like excitement I feel every time I go to bed knowing that I will wake up able to walk to calculus and feel Jacob’s feet on my chair, Eddie’s hot breath on the back of my neck and the full force of Jessica’s nervous leg shaking as it vibrates the entire classroom floor. There is really nothing else with which to compare it.
5. “Dear Student,”
I have to say, reading this intro at the top of every letter is really the icing on top of the cake. It reminds me of my existence as a statistic on this campus! I think the act of not calling tech support to figure out how to personalize the letter to say my name at the top, like every other adult of the 21st century has done, speaks volumes. Put me in my place! Let me know that I’m disposable!
In fairness, I’d like to address something you might be thinking, Erica: I had the choice to opt for online school! Yes, this was a great option, with only a fraction of the class options available to me and a ban from on-campus employment included free of charge. I only wish I was as clever as you.
Anyway, I’d like you to think of this montage as the epitaph on the grave of our relationship. To put it plainly, we’re over. It’s not me. It’s, completely and 100%, you.
It’s been fun!*
Sincerely,
Student / Statistic
*Extremely annoying
Current student • Nov 29, 2020 at 6:49 pm
Erica Woodley is the Dean of Students. I am a student. I pay thousands and thousands of dollars to go to a school where the Dean of Students is going to talk to me like I’m a child? I pay thousands and thousands to go to a school where the Dean of Students is going to threaten me for coming back to Tulane when the STUDENTS THEMSELVES DID NOT MAKE THAT DECISION???????? I was in a council with Erica over the summer, and she said multiple times she cared more about the image of Tulane than she did about the safety of our students.
ANY ALUMS WANNA ANSWER TO THAT ^^^^
Current Student • Nov 17, 2020 at 2:07 pm
Since arriving at Tulane I have noticed that many students tend to blame their own mistakes on whatever vessel is most suitable. Unfortunately, it seems that Dean Woodley has become Tulane’s COVID scapegoat. I am curious how the Hullabaloo would have handled the issue. Should she not email students warning them of the consequences of their actions regarding this deadly virus? Sounds like some students are refusing to face that their actions are having a negative impacts on Tulane’s community and the New Orleans community. It is Dean Woodley’s job to make us aware of this and attempt to ensure it does not continue. Critiques are always good, but meaningless complaints are doing nothing but making a difficult semester even more difficult for both students and admin.
Student • Nov 9, 2020 at 11:35 pm
Criticizing someone who has been handed the impossible task of keeping everyone in a community of thousands safe is so incredibly out of touch and selfish. Erica Woodley had absolutely no say in the fact that we’re all back here but is told by upper admin to keep everything under control basically single-handedly. She was set up to fail and you have the audacity to whine about the language she uses in mass emails instead of being grateful that someone at this godforsaken university cares about us more than money?? You’re why the rest of the higher ed community hates Tulane.
i go here • Nov 5, 2020 at 9:13 pm
this is perfect and amazing and dont let anyone tell u otherwise
Hayden Outlaw • Oct 20, 2020 at 2:17 pm
Really? You’re going to write about the emails telling people to stop spreading COVID, but not about people spreading COVID?
Student • Oct 10, 2020 at 8:42 pm
Loved the article. I also think the above comments missed the point and in doing so they just repeat points we read in these emails daily. It’s mind numbing how out of touch the alumni and administration are with the students.
Wash • Oct 8, 2020 at 3:39 pm
This is hilarious and very accurate. I really don’t understand what the other commenters are talking about because you aren’t saying “oh these covid regulations are bad,” you’re just acknowledging that the administration is treating us like children AND that we don’t want to be attending in person but they didn’t give us a choice. My only assumption is that they didn’t read the article fully or they are secretly Deans Woodley or Skinner.
Anyway, great stuff! You’re a very good writer<3
Alumnus • Oct 8, 2020 at 1:27 pm
213,000 Americans are dead from this virus and you’re complaining about someone sending you too many emails and not addressing them to you personally? I cant believe such an uninformed and self-absorbed article like this would even be printed.
Alumnus • Oct 8, 2020 at 1:16 pm
213,000 Americans are dead and 7.5 million have suffered through this virus and you are complaining that someone is sending you too many emails and caring about your health and safety? Not a good look dude.
Alumnus • Oct 8, 2020 at 12:46 pm
This is poorly-researched hyperbole. Find another hobby.
Alumnus • Oct 8, 2020 at 12:43 pm
This is disheartening to read as a public health professional. No offense, Gabe, but this isn’t about you — or any one person. We are in the midst of an unprecedented global pandemic. People are losing their lives and their livelihoods. (Though I empathize that it can be annoying when my phone buzzes often.) Now is the time to toughen up and be a little more understanding about what it takes to lead during a crisis. You may not fully realize what it takes right now to safely operate a business, let alone a university, where social activity can so easily threaten the wellbeing of its people. It takes constant communication. It takes understanding and sacrifice, and it takes shared responsibility. I understand this message make come across as condescending to you, but during a public health crisis, that doesn’t really matter. We all need to play along and understand that this is our new normal, even if it sucks. It’s no one person’s fault. You can choose to ignore the emails, though it is disheartening that you are trying to convince others that it’s OK to shame those who doing their best to keep everyone safe under horrifically difficult circumstances. Unfortunately, ever university is experiencing these disturbances in some form or another, as is every student.
Robert • Oct 8, 2020 at 12:23 pm
Tulane alumnus here. That’s the spirit, you feel condescended to yet you double down with more condescension. Hard to take you seriously when you sound like a whiny spoon fed petulant child. If you don’t want to read her emails then don’t read her emails. Sorry 2020 sucks for literally everyone but it’s not woodleys fault that she’s trying to do the best with a terrible situation and balance campus life with campus safety and the health of the Tulane community.
Kyle • Oct 8, 2020 at 10:56 am
There may not be a person on this campus who works as much or has dedicated more of their time to ensure the health and safety of this community than Dean Woodley – especially through this COVID crisis. I know we are all frustrated with the ways in which COVID-19 has impacted all areas of our lives but to attack literally the only person who has been charged with the monumental task of keeping everyone here as safe as possible is sad and misguided.
John • Oct 7, 2020 at 10:02 pm
Gabe I absolutely love this piece. Thank you for speaking on how so many students feel.
Alex • Oct 4, 2020 at 5:21 pm
Shame on you for blaming a woman who is NOT one of the top 15 salaries at the university (see links below). If you’re going to post a shitty slam piece on the administration, you should really focus your energy towards researching the overwhelmingly straight cis white men who are accruing personal wealth on the backs of students (read: federally subsidized student loans) and not your dean of students who is following their directive. This post is embarrassing and should be redacted.
https://projects.propublica.org/nonprofits/organizations/720423889
https://paddockpost.com/2019/05/01/executive-salaries-at-tulane/
Laura • Oct 4, 2020 at 3:45 pm
Very hot and inventive take pinning every institutional issue on a woman! The 2020 hereaux we absolutely deserve.
Student • Oct 2, 2020 at 10:33 pm
This is such a condescending article and another cold take by the hullabaloo. I hope you realize everyone’s trying to make this terrible situation a little more bearable for you. Funny how these emails are SO annoying from Dean Woodley yet you fail to actually mention more than three valid points and those are all from only two different emails. Oh wow! Getting two emails is so frustrating and annoying to receive. Just wait until you start working for a living and receiving emails at all hours of the day (and yes, you’re getting more than two emails a day, so hopefully you can handle that). Also, you fail to mention the email Dean Woodley sent following these emails which is basically an apology for how the administration might be perceived.