Stop settling for bad sex

Lily Mae Lazarus, Managing Editor

On the hunt for Price Charming, college women kiss a lot of frogs without any sexual satisfaction. (Maggie Pasterz)

Long gone are the days of meeting someone in a dimly lit jazz club with stolen glances and love at first sight. Replacing the old fashioned romance game are dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. The neverending swiping digitized and killed what rom-coms and romance novels worked so hard to create: the conventional love story. 

As slow burn romance died, hookups and situationships rose from its ashes. Yet, many college women fail to recognize the untapped potential of casual sex due to the mystique of female pleasure. 

There is a scientific explanation to this phenomenon called the “orgasm gap.” In the United States, women report one orgasm for every three orgasms from men. Although the gap narrows in committed relationships, only 39% of American women report having an orgasm from casual sex.

Maybe if sexual education focused less on demonizing sex, more women would experience sexual plesure and benefit from hookups. Given only 15 states require medically accurate sexual education, how can women enjoy casual sex if they don’t understand their own bodies and are not encouraged to discover their sexual preferences?

Before college women can enjoy casual sex like their male counterparts, they need to become comfortable with masturbation. Despite masturbation’s bad reputation, it has real health benefits apart from the obvious orgasm. Yet, only 7.3% of women ages 18 to 24 masturbate two to three times per week compared to 20.8% of men. If you do the math, it’s no wonder college women have less orgasms.

Ladies, if you want to get the best bang for your buck from a casual hookup, figure out what you need in bed. With two-day Amazon Prime delivery, you can shatter glass ceilings and narrow the orgasm gap with a vibrator and the right ambiance.  

For first timers, self stimulation can seem overwhelming. A good starting point is Teen Vogue’s list of their favorite Jeff Bezos approved sex toys. If you don’t want to shell out cash for a climax, you can always do it the old fashioned way.

All jokes aside, not all women are comfortable masturbating and that is entirely valid. But, without this self awareness, it becomes increasingly difficult to get your end of the bargain with a sexual partner and feel empowered after doing “the deed.”

Finding empowerment and satisfaction from hookups is not orgasm dependent. One third of women even feel depressed after good sex. This power comes from embracing the sometimes awkward nakedness and saying “screw you” to sexual stigma.

Yes, this is easier said than done. But, we need to stop normalizing leaving a hookup feeling disappointed or dirty and start advocating for our sexual needs.

Women need to stop settling just to be let down. If a partner doesn’t feel the need to make you feel good, they don’t deserve to be with you. If a partner isn’t your cup of tea, feel free to leave. Time is money, don’t let men waste it.

Put most simply by Jenny Style & Old Roller: “get that bread, get that head, then leave.”

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