The 5 people you meet at orientation

Tyler Mead, Print Arcade Editor

As part of the Tulane University community, The Arcade would like to welcome all future freshmen currently in New Orleans for their summer orientation. We know we very likely aren’t the first to greet you, and plenty more will have arms open and ready to accept you. While it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the start of college, orientation is a relaxed environment full of equally scared and doe-eyed kids who can be easily sorted into five categories.

The Greek God/Goddess: By far, future Greeks are the easiest to spot. These are the freshmen who’ve known since they were old enough to say “bro” that they will be joining one of Tulane’s many Greek organizations. The boys will be recognizable by their brightly colored shorts and boat shoes, while the girls can be seen in stylish crop tops. Even if Greek life isn’t for you, knowing those in fraternities and sororities can be an easy way of getting into a crowded party, or access to a wristband. Just know that after bid day, they will disappear for the rest of the semester, only to be seen in classes surly, sleep deprived and slightly hungover. But not from hazing, of course.

The One You Want to Bang: Not to toot our own horn, but Tulanians are pretty hot overall, and much to every suburban parent’s dismay, hookup culture is alive and well here. There will inevitably be at least one person in each orientation group who will catch your eye. You have less than two days to make a good impression at orientation, and then hope for a reunion at Boot happy hour. Don’t let this desire be all-consuming during freshman year, though. Stories about the person in your orientation group you still “totally have a chance with” are incredibly annoying to your friends.

The Kid Who Doesn’t Show Up Next Fall: College isn’t for everyone. Somehow each orientation group gets one kid who makes that decision a little late. These not-quite students may appear less enthusiastic at the orientation events. They’ll have no real effect on other people’s freshmen year, but serve as a convenient conversation starter.

The One Who Wants to Bang You: That’s right, pat yourself on the back, someone wants to do the deed with you. If you notice someone in your group being a little too friendly, and maybe even trying to make physical contact, then yes, they are flirting. They have less than two days to try and make a good impression for the inevitable Boot happy hour reunion, so expect them to laugh at all your jokes and tell you how interesting you probably aren’t. It’s flattering, and means you have an option. Beware, if this behavior is noticeable from someone you’re not interested in, be blunt about it. You don’t want to start the year off with a stalker.

Your Best Friend for a Month: Orientation is a great place to start making connections. That being said, it’s a very brief window to actually get to know someone. Deciding on a new best friend can be extremely dangerous. It may seem exciting to have met a friend before school even starts, but when the fall comes, you realize you don’t have anything in common and you live in different dorms, that excitement will fade.

Good luck, kiddos. The Arcade apologizes for the patronizing “you must be a freshmen” comments you’ll be getting, but, honestly, when you walk around big-eyed, it’s a dead giveaway.