Dear Staff of the Boot & Boot Store,
You've finally done it, after all these years. It's the cataclysm we've always suspected, sensed looming on the horizon, but always hoped would never come to...
Dear Freshman 15,
How are you still a thing? In an age of body positivity and self-empowerment it baffles my mind that your gloomy prophecy of weight gain still exists. You’re tacky and I hate you.
Surrounded...
Dear Hungry Hungry Hullabaloo,
Our time together is drawing to an end, and there are a few things I need to get off my chest. It may be uncouth, or straight up uncool to call you out so publicly, but...
Tyler Mead, Senior Staff Reporter
• November 17, 2016
Dear UberEATS,
When I said I wished Uber could deliver me and a pizza to my house, I was joking.
You're here now though, and things are off to a rocky start between us. You misread a joke, and...
Dear Apathetic Youth,At this point, less than a week out from election day, I know you've heard it all before: you need to vote! Voting will help people other than yourself! Voting can change the world!...
Dear Zeus,As a freshman at Tulane, I've had to adjust to many new aspects of college life over the past month, from finances and laundry, to academic and social pressures. Each week I have to decide when...
Dear Suburban Posers,We have returned to school, a cesspool of fellow Tulanians all just "rolling [in the] wave" and trying not to drown. There are thousands of new people to meet every year and everywhere...
Tyler Mead, Senior Staff Reporter
• August 30, 2016
Dear Callous Customers,
Reliving memories of this summer stings like salt on a fresh wound. I was tormented daily by an enemy with a different face and new sadistic technique. My enemies are everywhere...
As the holiday season approaches with terrifying speed, the presence of presents weighs heavily on my mind. I'm no Grinch, so I know that there are many reasons for the season that do not come wrapped...
Dear Tinder Users,
While I applaud your noble pursuit of e-love, it's about time I don my crotchety-old-man pants and complain about technology. This is not me saying smartphone hookup apps are...
Dear Women's Clothing,Could you tell me where I could find the pockets? I'm having some trouble locating them. I know where they should be. All logic tells me I should be able to slide my hands down my...
Dear Family Weekend Parents,
Let me say, first and foremost, welcome to Tulane. Most of you haven't been here since move-in day, so I can understand some of the excitement, but let's set some ground...
